Look Past the Label

The concourse was bustling with people moving about, the smell of stale concession foods filled the air, and the energetic music grew louder as we entered the arena. We walked in and she stopped and slowly looked around. Her eyes lit up and her face held a smile from ear to ear. The old saying goes “like a kid in a candy store,” but for her it could be changed to “like a girl at a NBA game!” I watched as she sat on the edge of her seat the entire game. She cheered as the Blazers pulled ahead. She sat with her hands on her head worrying if they would make the free throw, and she chanted along with the crowd in every moment of excitement.  I enjoyed watching her, more than the game. 

My daughters zest for life and excitement of anything active brings pure joy to my heart! I remember the first time someone called her a tomboy. She turned her head with a quizzical look, and said “NO I am not, I am a girl!” Later I tried to explain it was just an expression, but she was young, and didn’t understand.   Honestly though it is not an expression, it is a label, and I don’t really care much for labels.  As time moved forward, she sort of embraced the phrase, I even hear her refer to herself as one.  It still gives me a little pit in my stomach.  We work hard to teach our kids to love who they are, and not to label things, activities, toys or even clothes as boy or girl. She dressed in camo for Halloween, and loves to wear cargo pants and football jerseys, but she also loves hearts, peace symbols and making friendship bracelets!

The term tomboy is interesting, in that you never hear an adult referred to as one. When asked to describe yourself, do you ever hear an adult woman say “well, I am a tomboy…”  The label transitions based on how you learn to define yourself.  If sports are something you enjoy in your life, you might be an athlete.  If you still love building things, you might become an engineering or be called science minded.  What happens to those “tomboys” who don’t have a strong dominate thing they identify with as they transition from child to teen to adult? We all seek to fit in, to find our place, to find our own “label.” This is the exact reason I do not like the general broad term of tomboy.  

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what we should use to replace this word, and then I realized, it doesn’t need to be replaced, just removed! When we label people, they tend to look to others with that label, and do their best to fit in. Instead we should be encouraging kids to become their own person.  Besides, I don’t want just one word to describe my daughter, or myself for that matter. My daughter is gorgeous, loves to play sports, jump rope, build with legos, read a good book, and plays with frogs! 

So maybe the next “tomboy” you see, you might look a little closer, and choose to give her hope of an amazing future that lies ahead instead of a label. The girl who plays with bugs is a future biologist, builds with Legos, an engineer, plays ball with the boys is a future athlete. Or maybe just maybe if you look close enough you might see she is a gorgeous little princess who loves a good slam dunk!